Lions and tigers and ticks, oh my!

Drinking Tips for Teens

Say hello to my little friend.

If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, is it because everyone’s afraid they’re going to get lyme disease? Probably. This summer, the tiniest of insects are public enemy number one and people are avoiding the woods in droves.

Good! There were too many people in the woods anyway, especially in those stupid droves of theirs. When I go to the woods, people are the last people I want to see. So thank you, deer ticks.

Everyone’s afraid of tick-borne lyme disease this summer, even people whose only exposure to the woods has been photographs in Sport Illustrated’s 2013 pinecone-themed swimsuit edition. (Favourite portfolio: “Strapless But Not Sapless.”)

That’s because lyme disease is this year’s Ebola scare, which was 2014’s H1N1 scare, which was 2009’s West Nile virus scare, which had a good run there from…

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Best Jokes of the Evening

Nutsrok

WORLD’S BEST JOKES
The University of Hertfordshire recently concluded a research project to find the best jokes in the world.  Here they are:
Best Joke in the world A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. 

The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?

Second Place Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip.  After a…

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Mozzie

Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

Image result for mosquito cartoon

I am a small mosquito
And my task is not the best…
To be a nuisance all my life
And be a perfect pest.

It isn’t really all my fault
When deep within the night
You wake to find I had a snack
And left a nasty bite.

I need the stuff that’s in your blood
I have none of my own…
That’s just the way that I was made
And so the seed was sown.

I am the perfect predator
No tiger bite can beat
The stealth attack that gets to feed
Yet leaves you on your feet.

I’m made by Mother Nature,
Working to her own design…
So when you try to squash me flat,
Recall…the fault’s not mine.

I can’t turn vegetarian,
That’s not the way I’m made,
A mozzie needs her sustenance,
The Piper must be paid.

We may surpass our natures,
But we can’t be…

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Hey Paul Ryan, grow a spine!

THE SHINBONE STAR

Paul Ryan, you just told us to not be so tough on The Donald, “He’s just new to this.”

Are you freaking serious, Paul?

As Speaker of the House of Representatives, you should know that Ignorantia juris non excusat or ignorantia legis neminem excusat (Latin for “ignorance of the law excuses not” and “ignorance of law excuses no one” respectively), is a legal principle holding that a person who is unaware of a law may not escape liability for violating that law merely because one was unaware of its content.”

Even a lowly journalist knows this, for goodness sake. I want to be more profane, but decorum prevents.

As ignorant as your statement is, we both know that you don’t have the guts, nor ethics, to stand up for American and call out Donald Trump for the liar that he is.

In normal circumstances, impeachment proceedings would be in the…

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Top 10: most luxurious safari lodges in South Africa

the Luxury Travel Expert

Monday newsletters always feature top 10 travel lists to inspire.

Today (February 6, 2017): Top 10 most luxurious safari lodges in South Africa.

Whether you are a safari virgin hoping to catch your first glimpse of the Big Five or a safari aficionado with a specific sighting in mind, South Africa will rarely disappoint. And the country offers some ultraluxe accommodations to match the exceptional wildlife experience. Here’s my top 10 of South Africa’s most luxurious safari lodges.

There is more information (with reviews & Youtube clips) below the slide show. Think I missed one? Share your favorite South African safari lodge in the comments section, or take my poll below!

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10. SANCTUARY MAKANYANE SAFARI LODGE, NORTH WEST PROVINCE

Named for the African wild dog which calls the local area home, Sanctuary Makanyane Safari Lodge is situated on the edge…

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